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On Bread & Other Dinner Dilemmas


A co-worker was recently at a holiday dinner party and called me [from the washroom] to ask what the general rule was re: bread at dinner. I began giggling and asked if someone was using his/her teeth to rip the roll. His response, “how did you know?!”

There are a number of things that put the fear of Jesus into many people – my mother, tax deadlines, annual reviews and formal dinners. Whether the meal is served family style [on platters that people help themselves from] or plated course-by-course, many people seem to mess up when it comes to the bread.

1) Don’t bite into your bread. Tear off a piece of bread with your hands and, if so inclined, butter it. Yes, butter each piece of bread.

2) When you’re done with a particular course, it is acceptable to take a piece if bread and mop up the juices on your plate. Use your fork to move the piece of bread around the plate, in a gently wiping motion, not as if you are scrubbing away evidence.

3) Here’s the doozy. If you are not provided with a bread plate [I know right, but let’s not judge] the rule of thumb is to place your roll/piece of bread on the table cloth.

4) This has nothing to do with bread but rather the awkward moment created by the last morsel on the platter at family style dinner service. If you’d like the last prosciutto-wrapped quail, offer it to everyone at the table [pray that they all decline] and when they do, help yourself.

Happy Holidays!


So I Hear that Christmas is Coming


Ahh, the holidays. At the time of writing, it’s just six more sleeps until Santa breaks into many houses and brings gifts for the good kiddies. I spoke with my parents last night, and when I asked my father how he was doing, his response was “well I hear that Christmas is coming.” You see my father who is Jamaican, but of Scottish descent has the driest sense of humour. What he wanted to convey was that he really wasn’t prepared for the Yuletide season.

Oftentimes we get bogged down with what to buy for whom; we go into a mall and immediately are awash with panic and nausea. Or, there are those of us who are depressed as we may be far away from home. Whether you celebrate Christmas or not, this time of year should be filled with the song of laughter and the warmth of friendship. And if you have neither of those things in your life, I hear that Craigslist has a section for that.

Up until New Year’s Eve, all my posts will be focused around getting through the holiday season, and on New Year’s Day, I’ll be telling you how to go on a ten-day juice cleanse. Your liver will thank you.

So here’s to eating our body weight in Scottish shortbread cookies and fruitcake; drinking champagne like our last name is Winfrey; and untagging ourselves from Facebook photos that we have no recollection ‘posing’ for.

May your Holidays be merry & bright.


Aww You’ve Got the Sniffles


Nowadays calling in sick is easier than ever. Many workplaces still have the rule that if you wish to do so you have to get a manager on the phone. Others allow their employees to text, bbm, email or send a carrier pigeon to the boss saying that they are too ill to come in. Bosses [well most] won’t make you feel guilty about taking a sick day, but they do demand that when you call in sick that it’s done respectfully and with some regard for the business.

Here’s the way to effectively call in sick –

1 – Ensure your not just sick of your job. Just saying.

2 – Contact your boss or another manager before you’re supposed to be at work. The 9:05am call doesn’t help your case.

3 – Sound like you’re dying. No, seriously. Think about it, if you sound
yourself it’s just gonna raise some red flags.

4 – If you think that you need to cover your ass some proof [and from your working environment you will know if you do], head to a walk-in clinic and see a doc. The next morning take the note to HR.

That’s it. Don’t forget to drink lots of liquids, NyQuil counts, and catch up on Man vs Food.

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