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July 18, 2011

Let Her Down Easy

by thenattyurbanite

Dear Natty Urbanite:

There’s this girl at work who is unfortunate looking not quite lovely and she continually asks me out. I try to be nice and let her down easy, but every time I decline an invitation she bounces back with herculean vigor. Once she asked me out after work and I told her that I had plans with a fellow co-worker. She gave me the “Ohh excuuuuuuusssssssse me! Is it because she’s hotter than me?” speech. Added to this, she sends me late-night BBMs that are highly suggestive. I’d like all this to stop. What can I do?  CL

Dear CL:

Stop going to work. Kidding. You remember that time when your buddy got that Chester Cheetah tan after getting that questionable Asian tattoo and you gave him that Karl Lagerfeld did-she-just-eat-a-danish look? You don’t? Well, never mind.

Fact is you have to be direct and treat this as what it is, a personal affront. The next time Charlie Sheen’s long-lost twin approaches you tell her this – “you know what I can’t do the passive aggressive thing anymore as it’s unfair to you. You’re a co-worker and I’m not interested in anything romantic.” That’s that. Will this cause heartbreak? Maybe. Could she get all Silence of the Lambs on you? Not likely. Whatever her response I’m sure that it can be settled without heading over to the Human Resources department. Oh and delete her from BBM. Just saying.

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